[Science Saw] – A study uncovers what contemporary parents do these days that upset kids.
Highlights:
- Parents globally use lies to influence their kids, prompting recent studies.
- Parents may lie to prompt better behavior or happiness, making judgment tricky.
- Cultural differences influence parental lying rates, despite valuing honesty.
- Experts worry parental lies may influence children negatively, affecting behavior and relationships.
- Parental lying theory suggests it impacts parent-child closeness, posing challenges for kids.
- Ways a child can lose trust in you as a parent.
Parenting by lying is when parents say things to their kids with the aim of influencing them or sometimes tricking them.
This can happen in various countries and it’s been getting attention in studies. For instance, when parents tell kids Santa Claus is real or make up reasons for things like why the sky is blue.
It’s not always clear why parents tell these lies. Sometimes, it’s to make kids behave better or feel happier. But figuring out if these lies are okay can be tough because it’s about what parents mean when they say these things.
Lying in parenting isn’t the same everywhere. It depends on the culture and what people generally think is okay or not.
Research shows that many parents, even those who say honesty is essential still tell these kinds of lies. But not everyone does it a lot; only a small number of young Americans said their parents often lied to them.
Some experts worry that when parents lie, kids might copy them and start being dishonest too. There is also a worry that it might affect how kids feel about their parents and themselves.
Studies suggest links between these lies and kids acting out (like being aggressive) or feeling upset (like being anxious). But researchers aren’t sure if lying directly causes these problems or if it’s more complicated.
There’s a theory that helps explain why parents do this. It says that what parents believe and care about shapes how they raise their kids and how they turn out.
But researchers think there might be more to it. They suggest that when parents lie, it might affect how close they are to their kids and that might make things harder for kids in some ways.
The authors of the study say we need more research to understand this better. They want to look at different kinds of lying by parents and see how common it is in different parts of the world.
They also want to see if some lies might actually be good for kids, like keeping the magic alive for them.
Also, they are curious about how kids react when they find out their parents lied and what makes parents choose to lie in the first place.
Even though we have learned a lot from past studies, there is still a lot more we need to find out. Researchers want to know if these lies really cause problems for kids or if there are good sides to some of them.
Understanding all of this better could help parents raise their kids in better ways.
Having a clear knowledge of how parents sometimes tell lies to kids is a big topic in studies, but there’s still more to learn to figure out how it really affects kids and families.
Trust
Trust is a vital part of how we interact with others, shaping our relationships, societies and even economies.
Basically, trust is when you believe someone or something is reliable, honest and has your best interests at heart. It’s what lets us work together, share things and feel safe around others.
Trust isn’t just about what we think about someone; it’s also about how we feel towards them, like feeling secure and comfortable.
You can see how trust plays out in personal relationships, where it helps us form close bonds, feel loyal to each other, and share our feelings openly.
In professional settings, trust is crucial for things like teamwork, leadership and coming up with new ideas.
It’s also a big deal in democratic societies, where it helps keep things stable, encourages people to work together and makes governments more effective.
Trust starts developing early in life, influenced by our experiences with caregivers and how they meet our needs.
But as we grow up, things like betrayal or dishonesty can shake our trust in others. When that happens, it takes time and effort to rebuild it.
The effects of trust aren’t just personal; they ripple out into society and even affect the economy. When trust is high, it’s easier for businesses to thrive, people to work together, and societies to flourish.
But when trust is low, it can slow down economic growth, make people feel disconnected and even lead to social unrest.
Ways a Child Can Lose Trust in You as Parents
Building trust is important in the relationship between parents and kids. But sometimes, things can happen that make a child lose trust in their parents.
Let me take you through some ways this can go down:
Breaking Promises: If parents keep promising things and then don’t follow through, it can make the child feel like they can’t rely on their parents.
This could be about small stuff like outings or bigger promises, but either way, it chips away at trust.
When parents don’t encourage honest talk, kids might feel like their thoughts and feelings don’t matter. If there is not enough openness, it can mess with the trust between parents and children.
Inconsistency in Discipline: If the rules or punishments keep changing, it can leave kids confused. When the same action has different consequences, it feels unfair and that can lead to a trust breakdown.
Sharing a kid’s private stuff or breaking a secret promise to keep things private can hurt trust. Kids need to feel safe talking to their parents without worrying about secrets getting out.
Also, being super strict without explaining why can make a child feel controlled instead of guided. This strictness might strain the relationship, making it hard for trust to grow.
Lack of Emotional Support: If parents don’t show up emotionally or dismiss how a child feels, it creates a gap. Over time, this emotional distance can make a child doubt if their parents are there for them.
Also, when parents don’t admit when they are wrong or say sorry, it can shake trust. Taking responsibility for mistakes is a big deal and it sets an example for trust-building.
More so, playing favorites among siblings can breed resentment and a sense of betrayal. If a child sees unequal treatment, it can hurt trust within the family.
Not Respecting Boundaries: Ignoring a child’s personal space or privacy needs can damage trust. Parents should respect when a child needs their own space and freedom.
Lying to the Child: Just like how kids lose trust if their parents lie to them, parents can lose trust if they are caught being dishonest. Trust goes both ways and honesty is a key part of a strong parent-child bond.
It’s key for parents to be aware of these trust-weakening actions and actively focus on open communication, consistency and creating a supportive environment to strengthen their connection with their children.
However, this study shows that how parents use lies in parenting is complex and varies across cultures. It’s essential to explore this further to understand its real impact on kids and families.